Week of Music '13: Expectations

Athena_Enkelados_Louvre_CA3662"She was a goddess, a beautiful Athena. I bowed and I vowed, nothing would come between us. But she fell of my pedestal, She was human after all. So I got angry and silent. That's why she left I know.

Somebody had to pay for all the pain I felt. So I grabbed my gun and headed out to go shooting stars."

-Shooting Star by Andrew Osenga

A few months before marrying Courtney, a friend gave me the only advice that I confidently pass on to friends looking to my small and inexperienced store of marital wisdom: Absolutely kill any expectations you have for what marriage 'should' be, and make the most of every situation. Those words helped Courtney and I through circumstances I wouldn't wish on anyone in their first few months of marriage. I am in awe that the two of us handled things with such composure. Joe and Kris, I owe you big time.

Expectations, whether it be about God, marriage, friendship, whatever, can destroy the best parts of life before they even start. When people become disillusioned with the church, with God, with life, I don't think it's necessarily because God didn't deliver on what He promised, it's because He didn't deliver on the expectations we place on Him. He didn't act like the god I had created.

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But beyond my own disillusionment, with God, or any avenue of life, I've found that when I finally let things be what they actually are, what they are is better than what I had created in my imagination; different but better. This is was what made Leonard a Lonely Astronaut.

To end the week, I've put together my own poetic thoughts about expectations. (Disclaimer: I have received permission from my lovely wife to publish such words. Know that we are not currently experiencing any severe trauma in our marriage that either of us know of. There is no one else I would rather have beside me at the beginning and end of every single day of the past two and a half years.)

The Truth

When disappointment settles in When the fog of emotion rolls away The truth is not as pleasant As the truth we made with passion in our veins.

But the truth is the stuff of life The meat that builds the bones And gives our soul strength to stay alive and in the light

I married my love She became my loving bride But the lover changed her colors And her love became a thorn in my side. But she was only letting down Expectations I never spoke And boy was I tempted to find love In some other woman's smoke

But the truth is the stuff of life, The meat that builds the bones. And gives our soul strength to stay alive And in the light And the truth is what we need To be who we were meant to be. The truth is the only way to set this life free Oh the truth is what I need.

When you settle into truth There's a deep down meaning inside, Of this mystery we call faith and love Where life's greatest moments lie.

But the truth is the stuff of life, The meat that builds the bones. And gives our soul strength to stay alive And in the light And the truth is what we need To be who we were meant to be. The truth is the only way to set this life free Oh the truth is what I need.

I encourage you to get your own copy of Leonard the Lonely Astronaut, not because anyone is paying me to do so, but because I believe as a married person you'll find it inspiring and consoling, as one never married you might have some of your nostalgia for matrimony destroyed in a healthy way and replaced with better vision, and for those who look back on a past in ruins, I have the audacity to think it might help you process and rebuild.

**If you'd like to reserve your own copy of the upcoming album I've been hinting at, I've launched a kickstarter campaign as a pre-sale medium. As of the publishing of this blog it's already 40% funded! While a few private backers have already made the basic recording possible, I'm using kickstarter as a means of pushing up the level of quality and time on the album.**

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May He guide you through the wilderness And protect you through the storm, May He bring you home rejoicing at the wonders He has shown you.