I Don't Want to be a Pander Bear
Submission sets on my shoulders like a backpack poorly stuffed with too many theology books. Rebellion and revolution are, after all, in vogue with my generation. We want to see change, and we aren't willing to hang around until someone else gets the job done, though we also aren't that willing to do much ourselves. Not that I want to pigeon hole my generation, we don't like that either. I have embraced and rejected both submission and pandering in my short life (and with much inconsistency I might add). Most choices tempt (or call) us to do one or the other. I finished my undergrad at a Christian college of panderers and submitters. By the end of the first semester it wasn't all that difficult to figure out which witch was which. When I pander I do one of two things:
1) I jump hoops to please, somersaulting over previous conviction to make people happy, even people I might think are idiots, people I wouldn't like to have over for dinner.
2) I hide myself from those I love so who I am doesn't disappoint them.
I'm sure there are other subcategories of pandering, but these are my personal favorites. It comes down to bowing to a desire to be liked for who I'm not, meeting someone else's arbitrary wants, even hangups. The concept is represented best in a 15 year old boy's sudden and severe parroting of whatever Susie Whats-her-face adores or despises. Disgusting. It's a facade. Pandering destroys vibrant, honest, and healthy relationships.
Not that saying whatever the hell we want at a moments notice is always the best thing for a relationship, but secrets and unspoken thoughts imply something broken, something that can't handle the weight of honesty. Which is why I've learned to appreciate hard words from friends, it means they trust our relationship enough to speak. Courtney and I can express honest fears to each other that would send Susie Whats-her-face running for the next pimpled pander bear at the drop of a hat.
And then there's submission.
Frankly I'm not yet sure how to do that well let alone talk about it well. Seriously. I'm stuck. So I won't pander to my desire to impress with feigned wisdom.
If I'm going to wrap this up at a later date, I need some help from greater (or combined lesser) minds.
Question of the Day: What is submission (as opposed to pandering)?