When I Should On Others....
Should deals in unfulfillable expectations. It denotes disappointment. Should is rarely, if ever, satisfied.
"They should have..."
"I should have..."
The past tense version of should is particularly nasty. It's a pit made by Vietnamese guerilla fighters with ankle piercing bamboo spikes; it wasn't built to let people go.
When I "should have" on another or myself, what I'm really saying is, "I'm disappointed in you." "You failed." "Had you been good enough you would have..."
Not that there isn't a time and a place for expectations. But should doesn't give me hope for the future; it locks me into a forever disappointed version of the past.
Forgive me for the times I have (and will) should on you. Old habits die hard.
I really should have been more thoughtful.