Present

Some people say that I'm a dreamer.  It's true. I am always looking at possibilities. That being said, I spend very little time in the present enjoying or dealing with what is in front of me. And whenever I am in the peaceful present it feels fragile—the slightest hint that at some point in the day I will have to do something else in the next 24 hours jerks me into a zoomed out view in which every step and task I have in front of me is compounded into a single moment. For all intents and purposes it feels like they all have to be done immediately. 

But I've gathered some tools to deal with it. Updating a to do list keeps me from wondering what I might be forgetting. Making a productivity schedule each morning helps me get down to what is most important and what I can let drift away. Prayer and meditation gives me the proper perspective that most the things that stress me out are not all that important a week from now let alone 50 years.

I will always be looking to the horizon—and that is something I never want to lose. That part of my personality always keeps me open to hope that can transform the present. But always planning and never living your life is a terrible thing—instead of hope it fuels discontentment. 

So I fight to enjoy the moment and be present and practical to the world around me, to make all those visions and ideas realities.